Monday, October 31, 2011
Title – appropriate to subject, tone, and genre?
Does it generate interest
hint at what poems is about?
Subject – what’s the basic situation?
Who is talking and under circumstance
[try writing a paraphrase to identify any gaps or confusions.]
shape – what are you appealing to: intellect or emotions of the reader?
Structure – progression
Are these aspects satisfying integrated?
Does structure support context?
Tone – what’s your attitude to the subject?
Is it appropriate to content and audience
Appropriate and uncontrived
Do you understand each word properly, its common uses and associations?
[See if listing the verbs really pushes the poem a long]
Are words repeated?
language sufficiently poetic
poetic techniques contribute to – or detract from – the success of the piece
(e.g. alliteration, onomatopoeia, symbolism, rhyme)
Striking but persuasive
Adds to unity and power
Metaphor and smile
Fresh and convincing
Combining on many levels
Rhythm and metre
Integrate poem’s structure
poem any good?
more like prose than poetry
is it too long?
Is one section redundant
is it too long?
Is one section redundant
Is repetition used to good effect or is it a distraction? And that's not simply using the same words but expressing the same idea(s) but in different words.
- Does the poem rely heavily on clichés or out-of-date and hackneyed expressions?
- Who's the poem's target audience?
- Is it relevant?
- Does the work use esoteric terminology or require specialist knowledge?
- Spelling, grammar, punctuation
- Communication of Theme
I found this fun list on Author's Den. The author says of it: "I chose the letter 'I' to do this to remind us all that poetry is subjective and so is a critique."
Insight: A poem will often give us insight into a person's thoughts. What does this poem tell you about the poet?
Interpretation: What was your interpretation of the poem? What do you believe the poet meant for you to interpret?
Impact: How did the poem influence you? What impact did it have upon you? Describe from your own perspective remembering that this might not have been what the poet intended. Ideas Comment upon the ideas used. Was the poet original?
Sunday, October 30, 2011
It was eventually
on your behalf.
did you think of these ideas?
They were uninspiring intentions
deceiving common sense;
a trick and treat incident that
hasn't been seen in years.
Very incommunicative trauma…
What to do?
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Find any obvious signs?
Don’t have to look hard:
what a bummer.
Assume you will have bias
dance across your path:
makes me grouchy.
Perhaps a little tattoo
on the right palm:
and on the Left:
Friday, October 28, 2011
Hadn't been able
to find any obvious signs -
naïve and so full of love.
Bound to happen, others said.
Mentally, physically and spiritually
forget about this one…
Mixing messages covered tracks – you had
no trouble finding someone else to love.
Always wondered - why weren’t you honest?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Toying with the idea:
writing a song.
A song of soul
sounding an ohm
because spirit will
die without it.
first two times
you butchered mine;
before the third.
Have you written a song?
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
This adult unknown rattled nerves…
where was the support of childhood?
Day dreaming, imagining being held
in parental arms – a toddler again –
viewing the world from above – safe.
Alive in this cooling time of missed cuddles,
former touches that soothed, once brightly
colored, there was no replication for this loss.
Skin ached for a kind touch because no
companion or lover shared this flagging trek.
Once bright colors bled turning to mud...
Monday, October 24, 2011
Go to work in the dark,
come home in the dark, I'm tired...
Weird dreams lately,
unusually weird for me –
No 9 to 5 enslaves me.
More work dreams tonight?
Late, berated, anxious -
the sandman cometh…
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Caught in throat…
nothing to cough up,
tight so damn tight.
nothing but silence,
nothing but a sigh,
nothing left but
Obsessed with writing;
wriggled loops and lines
write existence out.
Pen grabs thought
clearing away distress;
degrees of self-emulation
cling to old wounds.
Satin ribbons of ink bind
hurts; tying incessant words
exercising defaults to page
word by word…
Saturday, October 22, 2011
I have things brewing in the air
after a hell of being stuck creatively
but nothing is set in glitter…
it's a drizzmal day in Oly – total gray.
Pallid gray upon whiskered gray…
skies, road, mist blending together
without benefit of a value scale.
Where is the tonal range to give depth
to this rainstorm conversion of pacific
moisture drifting over land mass?
Squeezing tubes of acrylic, smearing
onto canvas, spattering wildly puts
external color back into internal focus…
Friday, October 21, 2011
hard sell featuring products;
items one can’t live without.
moving from channel to channel ;
past meaningless programs.
Click, click, click…
click, click, click…
curiosity brings the cat.
kills TV power;
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Many miles of daydreams under my feet…
ambient colors swirl reflecting sterling outcomes
where I thrive perpetually landing on my feet.
Not a rescuer, a whiner, or a complainer…
captivating, creative, self-assured moving
through calamitous catastrophes with ease,
spotting smooth tongued users, and others
who take pride in victimizing the naive.
When I feel strong I live in the real world…
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Maybe it was me
who was imaginary.
Not quite touching down
heel to toe on solid surfaces.
Not quite seeing past rainbows
tethered with filigree filament.
Floating in a vaporous bubble
never really conscious;
memorized script replaying,
never leaving static dreams.
all the while over under-optimistic…
then I realized I was somebody.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Checking the state of my being…
not going to make a formal announcement.
Just a routine question; how’s it going self?
Not sure self will bother to reply…
too busy with internal functioning,
all systems going as directed despite
serendipity of external complexities.
I guess I am master of my infamous fate;
a daily roulette wheel of choices
spinning, spinning, spinning…
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Wish it were as easy as computer makes it -
a few mouse movements and a click or two.
Which default would I choose to un-default…
hate to admit it, there are several to choose from.
At this age, I can see them clearly; understandably,
I’ve lived with them long enough.
It’s all what one becomes used to;
with cursor hovering over set-as-default,
I double click that mouse…
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Just need to paint,
just need to restore succinct
faith in the world right now;
private thoughts too loud
disrupt auric balance.
Winter dampness envelopes;
its gray is somewhat comforting.
Brash colors of summer turned
fall decay to earth neutrals
restoring nutrients to soil
via the earth worm bin.
Umber, ocher, burnt sienna
spread over bright white substrate
drawing moisture into pores;
leaving behind worldly stuff,
not every death is mourned.
Friday, October 14, 2011
No insight for insinuating sighs
sneaking loudly into the ether.
The ad for TV news said breaking
news can happen at any time…
breaking sighs happen anytime too.
Nothing much has changed:
daylight shortens, well it’s fall; rain
storms pour in on cue – it’s mid-October.
Same old same old, prepare yard for
winter, put the raised beds to sleep, clear
leaves… all those yard chores to do -
routine movements when mind can wander.
In general too many "users" out there;
longing for a relationship can be dangerous...
it can easily makes one into an idiot at times.
Inhale and sigh, another escapee...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Having stopped at kissing six toads, frogs
or other amphibian types, she had given
up her quest to find a committed partner.
Most of her life went past without even
a male friend. Her few encounters were fraught
with being used by her encountered selections.
Spiraling from embedded childhood habit gained
from the nastiest swamp inhabitant - a slippery
water moccasin of a brother; chance not a choice.
Fond of most reptiles and amphibians, she hated
to give a bad name to this group, evoke age-old
negative aspects just because of her brother.
His influence had tainted any future interactions
with the opposite sex – an inner voice assured her:
it’s all what you habitually hold dear; whether you
realize it or not, it seems safer than unknown good.
Speculation about attributes of higher members
of the food chain left her in doubt of ever finding
that elusive life partner; at least she was savvy
enough not to invoke the misnomer of “soul mate..
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
let it die;
evoke it later.
to infuse advantage,
to push luck
That’s the secret
excuse to wear
written with luck…
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I feel sorry for the early worms…
third winter storm flushes them out
leaving them stranded on cement or asphalt.
Checking the mail, I avoid the soggy
mass of leaves and pine needles;
each advancing deluge pushes the mush
further down the road toward the drain.
Hope none of the neighbors see me gently
scooping water weary earthworms from
hard surfaces or depreciating organic material.
Perhaps nooks beneath the shrubs will
stave off their drowning in saturated soil.
Once a rescuer, always a rescuer...
Monday, October 10, 2011
I woke up at 7,
had my coffee,
my bowl of cereal
and wanted to go
right back to sleep.
sense of dread
and desire to avoid
Perhaps if dread
and desire get
each other out.
I can avoid
and tossing turns…
Sunday, October 9, 2011
A panoramic view to begin the adventure…
can you still see with the eyes of a child?
A village full of rainbows and unicorns and
sparkling sunlight bouncing off turquoise waters…
don’t forget the super awesome friends.
Some friends were invisible; most were cousins.
Imagination – sugar candy coating banished
childhood boogie men; trapped in toffee, buried
in swirled color until dissolved by stomach acid
reappearing as adult convoluted issues…
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Art loaded into car,
all the accouterments,
fall arts walk…
another thing to get through.
worn and dumpy,
sitting behind her art
going through the motions.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Ranting arm chair judging
pristine example of dumb.
Slurping her cocoa laced with Bailey’s,
certainly deserves an award.
Avoiding actual interaction,
pin a blue ribbon on.
Commenting to her favorite reality show,
You are sooooo dumb….
Wishing she could comment on family reality,
What are you thinking you drip?
Hollering inanity at the TV was much safer…
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Paper heap coats desk top;
insulating mound of miscellaneous
is better than the bare wood
according to the cat sprawled on top.
Sighs accompany the weekly sort;
growls emanate as paper is pulled
out from under the reclined form.
Perhaps this chore needs to be done later;
procrastination wins out over advancing sharp claws…
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Holding words close to her heart, she harbored
a deliberate determination to hold them tight.
Sharing only when necessary, she preferred mute
observation to excessive effluence.
Not that she was or wanted to be profound;
no one would find her in Bartlett’s Book of Quotations.
When she was gone – she would be gone, leaving no
lasting crone dispensations regarding relative wisdom…
Rain clouds blown by wind
close down evening light;
your image is as gray and hazy.
Scent and voice dissipated first;
once clear memories disappeared,
photographs and a few selected
objects: a handwritten grocery
list, favorite hat, and the old draw
blade remain a restoration imprint.
Perpetual habits held
a routine orbit;
she was the sun…
habits were planets.
spun past lacking involvement.
This habitual attire was
impossible to eradicate.
reclaimed every morning
without celestial involvement
forever out of atonement.